Welcome to a daily surrender…

My view this morning is not of home but of the University of Connecticut through the window of a hotel.  It is cold but sunny and the old brick buildings of the college sit with confidence in the small town of Storrs 3,000 miles from home. I am here with my middle daughter.  She was invited to an interview for entrance into their graduate/doctoral program in Audiology/communication disorders.  (I am sure I am not being accurate in the title!).  This has been a journey that I will talk about more in later posts…but today as I think about my first post here…about a daily surrender…I see how God has chosen today to be my first post.  My daughter has Asperger’s…it is a form of autism.  My life as a mom with her has been a daily surrender…of one that I had to leave behind my own expectations of mothering and embrace the unique and wonderful child God gave me.  I told her on our drive to the airport yesterday that she should write a book.  She has worked through hard stuff to find her way to today.  And she does it by doing the next thing…that next thing isn’t always an easy thing…or the thing that seems most appealing…but it is the next right thing for her life and she does it because…well…it is the only option to get to the next thing.  It seems so simple.  But how often do we avoid the next thing because it is uncomfortable or hard or scary.  How often do we just quit because we don’t want to face the fear of failing.  In just a few minutes she is going to walk across campus to a room of people she doesn’t know and a place she has never been to interview with doctoral professors and heads of departments.  That is scary.  You may wonder why I am not sitting with her encouraging her at this very moment…but her coping mechanism is not talk or interact right before a big thing…but to wait until it is over.  She just has to do it and then she can be free to exhale.  So I have learned to be silent and present.  It is different from what I want to do…but it is what she needs and who she is.  And at 4:00 tonight when she is done and we meet up again…she will tell me all about it and she will relax.  Expectations are a funny thing.  We place them on ourselves and on others and when they don’t match up we don’t know what to do…we can get defensive and annoyed and angry…but Madie has taught me to surrender to the moment and the needs of others over my own needs…and God will take care of the places that seem undone or unkept or that you are unsure of how to even navigate through them.  Life is so not about me.  Madie is brave.  She does that things she fears not because she is fearless, but because she knows it is the next thing to do to get her to where she wants to land.  I live in fear and avoid things because of it.  Madie has inspired many in her journey of facing the hard…and pushing through in the midst of it.  Go Madie!!  I know you are going to do great regardless of the outcome.  You did the next thing in the midst of fear!

I am going to go on a run while she conquers her fears.  It is so cold here (compared to my 45 degree rainy hometown).  It is 23 degrees and there is snow on the ground!  I don’t know this town or where I will go…that is one of my fears…the unknown…but I will do it anyway because if Madie can, I can! And I know that God will speak wonderful things to me in my quiet time of running today.  He is so sweet to me that way!  This is one of the reasons that I love to run.  I get to worship Him, His creation and hear His whisper as I move my legs and my feet hit the pavement.

This was not what I expected to write on my first post…but my hope was to get a post up while I was here in Connecticut.

My hope for this blog is to write about my faith journey…my love for cooking from scratch…how I have gone from running for myself to wanting to run for a purpose…and my journey as a mom and wife.  All of these things take a daily surrender…and as I continue to share what God places on my heart I will dive more in to how each of these areas in my life have been a journey…one that God has used for his good.

Blessings to you!  I can’t wait to come back and share more!

Author: adailysurrender7

I love Jesus first and foremost. I am a wife to a wonderful man. The mom of three. Stepmom to three more. And a grandma to one. I love my family, cooking from scratch, my faith and fitness...running is my favorite! In this space I will share what’s on my heart and daily encouragement! View all posts by adailysurrender7